You know the people who you see that you’re jealous of, where they seem to have it all? That’s because they risked it all. They’re willing to put it all on the line to get what they want. But they also suffer pain and loss along the way. And that is something you haven’t had to deal with.
You have to be willing to throw it all away. You’ll have incredibly lonely moments. You may get it and get great things in life. I think of my career as this great thing, but I risked it all. I put it all on the line for this.
If you are going to try for it, accept the risk you’re taking. You can’t get that great award without risk. But you also will have horribly lonely moments where you think ‘Oh my god, what have I done?’
Afraid To Fall Asleep
Watching Mad Men tonight, I remember when I was a little boy and was terrified to fall asleep. I would lie in bed for hours scared that one day my grandparents would no longer be around. I was overwhelmed that my parents would one day be old and would not be around to take care of me. I was tempted to wake my parents up but didn’t want them to be upset.
I don’t think about those things anymore in bed… but sometimes I am anxious about what lies head when I don’t have my parents to turn to for comfort and advice anymore.
Today, my house in Mountain View on Pilgrim Ave officially sold to a wonderful young couple. Mara and I bought the house in 2009 and it’s quite sad to let the house go. It truly is a special house.
To be honest, when I first saw the house I wasn’t completely sold. It was way too small and terribly expensive. But my parents and Mara immediately understood the value of Pilgrim. Over time… I just absolutely fell in love with the house, the neighborhood, and the whole property. I’m happy that it is going to another couple that is looking to start a life and family in the house. I hope that they love the house just as much and have the same warm memories as I do when I think of Pilgrim.
One of the highlights for me was hosting a wedding for two very good friends (Kingsley and Maggie). We always knew that the house and the yard had great potential for large events… but we had no idea that it could actually accomodate a wedding!
What I will miss most from the house is the amazing backyard. The house sat on an amazing 0.26 acres and everybody that visited the backyard immediately fell in love with it. Santiago, our landscaper, said that he constantly works on many properties in Mountain View and Los Altos but he always felt that there was something unique, different, and special about our yard. He actually wanted to buy the house from us and was disappointed that we didn’t put it on the open market.
This home will always hold a very special place in my heart… it’s my first home and I’m sad to be giving it up. To me, Pilgrim will always represent a sanctuary and somewhere I felt most at peace.
Goodbye…. and thank you, Pilgrim.
I can’t wait for this movie to come out. The 3rd official trailer for ‘Man of Steel’.
Sometimes We Fall
I am tremendously lucky… there is no doubt in my mind that I have the most supportive parents who have been a safety net for me; regardless of what happens in my life.
On Tuesday, my Mountain View house closes escrow and officially belongs to a wonderful new family. This weekend, I moved all of my belongings back to my parents’ garage in Los Altos. As a parent, I can imagine it must be difficult to watch your children struggle and have to return home for help. When I have kids in the future, I hope they build forward momentum in their lives and do so without too many steps backwards. As my parents’ son, I wanted so much to reward their hope and faith in me by doing great things. To this day, the most humbling moment in my life was when I broke down in front of my parents to explain to them why I wasn’t doing well. I felt that I had failed them… I will never forget that day.
On this blog, I have never really spoken about Mara and me. The whole experience has been difficult and heartbreaking. Ultimately, both Mara and I came to the conclusion that we could be happier under different circumstances. The best that I could do was to help her establish her next steps… and we’ve finally done that by settling her in her new home.
Today I close a chapter in my life. On my drive back to San Francisco, I promised myself to stop looking backwards at what could have been, the mistakes that I’ve made, and what I should have done differently. Tomorrow starts a new chapter in my life.
‘Found’, by National Geographic
I love old photographs… to me they are time machines. I can literally spend hours inspecting every detail from old photography.
‘Found’, a photo blog from National Geographic features rare and unseen photos from their archives. The blog is in honor of the National Geographic Society’s 125th anniversary. Many of the photographs have never been published.
What’s the difference between a husband walking into a kitchen and a sailor walking off a ship? About 10,000 volts.